Our Community Case Studies - Our Lost Children & The Reason

HARRY  

2006 - 04/03/2019, 

Harry Storey hanged himself at home after finding out from a WhatsApp group chat that the girl he had a secret crush on had a boyfriend, and had started dating another boy,.

Harry ’s friends thought he was joking when he commented to them on WhatsApp that he had thoughts about suicide after learning he had a love rival.

Harry's father, Andrew, walked into the house  after finishing work and saw Harry on the stairs out of the corner of his eye.

At first Harry's father thought his son was standing on the stairs looking down at his phone, before he realised what had happened.

The discovery of the schoolboy came as a complete shock to his devastated family who never had any worries about him and regarded him as a regular, happy boy with no previous mental health issues. 

Andrew Storey said: 

'I could not comprehend what I was seeing.'

Mr Storey told an inquest that he started CPR on his son when his wife Sue walked in he shouted that Harry had hanged himself and to call for help.

'Harry was a charismatic, charming, caring boy and sport was a huge part of his life, playing rugby, cricket and tennis. He would talk to anyone with ease and he had a natural ability to strike up a conversation which I admired him for. 

He was an 'outgoing, adventurous'  normal teenager who had 'high expectations' for himself and 'did not always see how successful he was'.

It came as a complete shock to me,' said Harry's Father.

Harry's friends thought of him as bubbly, but had heard him mention suicide before in a sarcastic manner.

In a series of WhatsApp messages, Harry had found out his close friend who he had a 'crush' on -  had a boyfriend and he mentioned suicide but carried on the conversation normally afterwards,

Harry was rushed by road ambulance from his home to the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford on March 1 after he was discovered by his father and remained in the paediatric intensive care unit until his tragic death three days later.

Pathologist Dr Deirdre O'Shea confirmed the cause of death was hypoxic ischemic brain injury due to asphyxiation by suspension.

An inquest judge said: 'Harry did the action himself and had made comments about suicide. However teenagers do say things of that nature. Harry's death was an extremely sad case which could not have been predicted or prevented by his family or friends'.

 The conclusion is one of Harry's death was misadventure. 

DANIEL  

1997 -20/01/2014 

 Dan was the younger son of Fiona and Tim Spargo-Mabbs. They, along, with Dan's older brother, Jacob, live in Croydon. He was in the lower sixth form of Archbishop Tenison CE High School in Croydon, where he'd attended since Year 7. 

He was bright, articulate, funny, chatty, popular and talented. He was a big, engaging, much loved character. He’d been voted prom king at the end of year 11. He’d played in the band for the school show just before Christmas in year 12. 

He’d recently signed up as a bone marrow donor. Dan had a daily paper round, but on top of his round, he used to run free errands for the elderly people to whom he delivered papers. 

The family are regular members of their church, Emmanuel South Croydon, where Dan was involved with the youth work, and had signed up for their first youth Alpha course, starting in January 2014. He helped out church members with gardening and other odd jobs.

On the evening of Friday 17th January 2014, Dan persuaded his mum to let him go to a party, with a group of friends. As Dan was usually responsible, Fiona agreed that he could go. 

Dan and his friends went to an illegal rave in Hillingdon instead of the party. It was the first time he'd been to a rave. 

At the rave Dan took MDMA, along with four of the others. He had no way of knowing that there was a lethal amount of MDMA in the bag he had. 

The other four were fine, but whichever of them had had that bag would have died. It happened to be Dan.

Dan's body temperature soared to 42 degrees centigrade and above. At this temperature, the body's organs can't cope and they shut down. 

For a couple of hours his friends couldn't find him, and when they did he was propped up outside the building in the rain with paramedics. Dan was rushed to A&E at 0430 on Saturday 18th January.

At 0530, the police knocked on Fiona and Tim's front door and gave them the shocking news that Dan was unconscious in intensive care and fighting for his life. Because his legs were swelling, he needed an operation to cut them open to relieve the pressure. 

He was on life support, his body unable to cope with the effects of the drug. 

During 18th January, Dan was transferred to King's College Hospital Liver Unit, one of the most specialised units in Europe. There, machines did the work of his heart, lungs, liver, kidneys and circulatory system. 

The staff did everything they could to save Dan's life, but at 1250 on Monday 20th January, Dan died, surrounded by his family.

Dan was just 16 when he died. He was one of the very last people anyone would have expected to come to harm from drugs, but he did. 

Tim, Fiona and Jacob felt if this could happen to someone like Dan, it could happen to anyone, and they wanted to do all they could to prevent this. Dan’s death is a tragedy that needn't have happened. 

ALEXA  

1989 - 21/09/17

The heartbreaking story of Lexi, written by her mother, Susan:
This is my daughter, Alexa. From the moment she was born to the moment she left this earth, she was adored by all those who's path she crossed. She was intelligent, well educated, well spoken, inquisitive, playful, kind and loving with a smile that lit up any room and warmed hearts. She loved books about spirituality, holistic living, books to help her understand the injustices in the world, and ways that she could find herself.  Alexa kept journals throughout her life with pages full of raw emotion, poetry, and delicate sketches. She was deeply sensitive and felt life intensely.
In the beginning of her college years Alexa excelled. Sometime later, still in college, she met a ‘friend’; a young man who gave Alexa her first dose of heroin. “Just give it a try”. “What harm can it do”? 

It was that first use, our daughter became physically and mentally addicted to this drug. She fought desperately and admiringly to overcome the tremendous grip heroin had on her life. Every single day was a battle for Alexa as well as those of us who loved her and had to watch her suffer. We did everything we could; would have given our lives for her. Despite the love and guidance bestowed upon her, the rehabs and detoxes, her perseverance, heroin inevitably took her in and suffocated every dream and aspiration she ever had.
Alexa died of an overdose on September 21st, 2017. She had periods of time where she was free from heroin. During these times she begged God to keep her sober, sought counselling, used holistic practices, and tried to keep her focus on holistic living, organics, and exercise. But the darkness would eventually settle in again and she would turn to the very drug that caused her so much pain, desperate to escape for a time from her tortuous thoughts of guilt and shame she felt -  hurting the family she loved so. 

Alexa described heroin as a “very lonely drug that takes you away from every part of your life and leaves you hanging on the brink of death”.

She was given every opportunity a child should have. We are hard working parents who have raised our children with morals and values. We are not addicts. We are normal people who have always given the best to our children. Alexa was not a ‘street junkie’. She worked from the age of 16 and supported herself up until a few months before her death. 

She was somebody. She was our beloved daughter. And we will forever wonder if there was anything we could have done differently.

 If this can happen to Alexa then it can happen to anyone. It only takes one time to become addicted to heroin. 

ONE TIME is what it was for Alexa. She took heroin having no idea the power it would have over her. Alexa used for the first time on her college campus while she was drinking and her judgement was weakened. Your loved one could be offered heroin, just like Alexa. He/she might take it and think they won’t get addicted, just like Alexa. You can be assured that if my precious daughter, who had the world at her feet, could become addicted to heroin and die from an overdose, it can just as easily happen to your child or loved one as well.

Thank you,
Susan Frost Lamoureux .

BRECK 

2003 - 17/2/17

Breck Bednar was a 14 year old boy, from Caterham, Surrey, who loved technology and online gaming.

He was groomed via the internet and stabbed to death on February 17th 2014 by someone he met online.

SAM  

2005 -  15/07/19

Sam  Connor was a  lovely 14 yr old with a sense of humour  - his devastated family described him as a  shy  'sensitive little soul'.  

The tragic 14-year-old, was struck by a train in front of 50 of his horrified classmates after he lay down on the tracks of an on coming train.

Sam was being bullied  - at school. according to friends.  

He was also anxious about his Year 9 Grades.

The school say they had no record of bullying in school. 

Sam left his backpack and mobile phone - along with it's passcode with a friend moments before he lost his life.

ROSE

1991 - 12/02/2016 

Rose Polge was a beautiful, caring and capable junior doctor in her first year at Torbay Hospital. As with all junior doctors, she worked long shifts and antisocial hours. 

  Aged 25, Rose took her own life by walking into the sea.

 Rose’s mother linked her daughter’s suicide directly to her conditions of work, stating ; “Exhaustion because of long hours, work related anxiety, and despair at her future in medicine'. 

Her sister, Hazel, also a doctor, said "Often she would go without a break, getting home long after her shift had officially finished, ensuring everything was done to the best standard possible.

In caring so well for everyone else, she didn’t care enough for herself.' 

In a family statement read at the inquest, It said many doctors worked "under terrific pressure" and coped with "fatigue and heavy workloads" which could "generate massive levels of anxiety".

It continued: "Doctors can feel a dreadful sense of personal failure and inadequacy if they struggle to keep working. Sometimes, the despair can be sudden and overwhelming."

  Describing the last time he saw his girlfriend alive, Alasdair Hawley told the court: "I remember her asking me if she left medicine would I still love her."

Rose's body was found several weeks later at Portland Bill Headland.